Clark Kent

My greatest ambition is to be Clark Kent. Do the world some good, provide hope for the hopeless, and be able to do it unnoticed.
I've found that losing myself in the good of others is the only thing that makes me happy, truly happy. "For it is in giving that we receive."

As great as super powers are, I wouldn't want super powers. No, I'd love to be that person who knows how to use average skills in extraordinary ways. People who actually do do that, those people are the reason ideas like Superman exist, the reason why there is hope among the hopeless. But most importantly, they're humble about it. It's rather admirable, what those people do.

Today, though, I was walking through Costco and from the moment I got near the flowers I could hear a baby wailing from somewhere in the store. I've been in that position, and after a couple minutes trying everything to make the kid stop, your face turns into stone. You call yourself every name in the book because you thought that this one time it might go well. I've also been in the position where I wish I could just do something, I feel for whoever is going through that.

So, I'm walking through the store and like any mother, mine stops to look at the books, which leaves me to wander around. I now know exactly where I can get a gallon of mayonnaise, a years worth of gum, or my favorite, 500 feet of aluminum foil. I mean, seriously? The gum yes, but aside from the tin-foil hat wearers, who needs that much of aluminum foil?!

As I'm wandering I hear this wailing child get closer and closer, and I round a corner to the mother in the middle of scolding this red face watery eyed bald baby, who is no more than a year old. The mother, of course, didn't see me at all so I casually followed them down the isle making little smiley faces to this baby. About a minute later we were about to enter into the main isle, they were turning left and I was going right. As we were separating, I waived to this kid and the biggest smile spread across his face, he let out a giggle, and his hand shot up to waive back. I walked off but I glanced back and saw the mother with a very surprised look on her face, searching the faces of dozens of people who could have possibly made her day. Now, I'm not saying I did that, but it would have made mine.

I didn't hear anyone crying the rest of the time I was at Costco.

It's moments like those that I live for. It didn't cause me much work, if any, and hopefully it made someone a bit happier. I know it made me happy.

Opportunities similar to this happen all the time and we don't necessarily notice that they are, in some way, a heroic act. Things as simple as telling a person that you're thinking of them or telling them that you care, can often change a persons outlook on that day or even life in general. What I find special to me, is when a person can spend the time to write and send a letter. I feel that they genuinely care because they took that time, and in this day and age, time is so limited. It's always the simple things that make a difference and I believe that.

Although I don't have super powers, I know that I can do a good deed here and there. Not exactly at the level I would like too, but it's my only hope that it gets passed on.

I've never been a fan of capes, but I do enjoy wearing my black rimmed glasses as often as I can.

Sticky Notes

I have a sticky note I wrote on New Years day 2010 that says, 'Did you change this year?', it's stuck to my wall and I get glance at it whenever I sit at my desk. Which is quite frequent, so the question is always in my head.
When I wrote it, I was planning on taking a more physical attitude to the challenge. Little did I know, I would change who I was.

I have sticky notes stuck everywhere around my room, but there's one in particular that's most special to me. I have it on my wall next to my New Years note and it's the best advice I've been given within this last year. Be strong and do the hard thing. It was written in a letter, that I read whenever I'm feeling down or need advice. Who better to have written that letter than the person who single-handedly caused me to re-think everything about myself. The person I'll gladly blame for allowing me to say, "Yes, I did change this year."

Through honestly, the hardest time of my life to date, that person came storming in with a humble heroic fashion and provided me an example of what I need in my life. I didn't have to prove anything. They were there for me. They asked questions when I would talk to them about my worries and struggles. They'd ask, is that what you want when you're older? I was getting asked about what I wanted rather than having to listen to how it should be. Slowly, but surely, I had a reason to be happy, I had a full life ahead of me to look forward to, because for the first time ever, I could see the possibilities. I know what I want now. So, because of one person and a big heart, I'm different. There's no doubt though that I had influences of all sorts from the people who are in my life today.

I find that trials and adversity comes no matter if the timing is right. It's gonna happen. Chances are, we need it and it's our time to shine. I've learned that more this year than ever before.

We're only given what we can handle, but the most important thing I've learned, is that it's not necessary to endure these struggles alone. I would have never learned that, had it not been for the person who wrote me that letter.

On my last sticky note that I see as I shut my computer off each night, is a quote by David O. McKay - Man's success or failure, happiness or misery, depends upon what he seeks and what he chooses.

That One Family

My mom plays the organ in church, and I don't sit with my dad. So, for the last 6 months I sit alone for Sacrament meeting. I enjoy looking around and watching a father and mother trying with all their might to shut their kids up, or creating a barrier at each end of the bench so they can't run off. Or my personal favorite, when the kid realizes they can crawl UNDER the benches, and it takes the parents too long to see that. By that point it's too late and they're off. Then the parents are walking briskly, trying to be reverent, to catch up to them before they make it up to the pulpit.

There I sit, alone, watching all these families go through this hassle every week, and I enjoy it probably a bit too much.

Lately I've been going to another ward where my friend lives, and I always get asked to come on the good Sundays, when the Martins are in town.

I drive myself, and with the last 5 years of my mom driving me everywhere and being late to everything, I have this new obsession with being early, always.

The last Sunday I went, I sat in the very back, having a slight panic attack. Then I hear someone say something in the foyer, and I know the Martins are here. Finally, someone I know. Tracy walks in and says, "Come on, sit with us."

Of course, I felt bad because I was stealing mom's Right side, which only left her Left side, for three girls to fight over.
Testimony meeting started and on the left of me, I had Mom and Daughter whispering and laughing, to my right I had two Sisters laughing about something Elder Miller was doing from across the room.

So, there I sit, smack dab in the middle of it. It was great. I absolutely loved it.

But what topped it off, was towards the end of the meeting, when Tracy put her arm around me, just like she had done to her daughter the entire hour. I've never felt like I've belonged anywhere like I did at that moment. I'm not sure I could ever top the way I felt then. For the first time in 6 months, I didn't feel alone. I felt like I was sitting there with my family, with the people I love and care about.

There's always that person, or that family, that just means the world to you.
I've found mine.