Random stuff.

Funny little story.

A southern Baptist minister was completing a
temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I
had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

Sermon complete, the preacher sat down.


The song leader stood very cautiously and announced
with a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, `Shall We Gather at the River'"


Funny Facts

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life."
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz."
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
"Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand


RANDOM


Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.
Why do ther lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why doesn't glue stck to the inside of the bootle?
If your a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state: Caution!! May cause Drowsiness?
If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
Why is it that if somone yells 'duck' they are helping you, but if they yell 'chicken' they are insulting you?
Why are red button always the most important?
What would happen if you found a four leaf clover under a ladder?
How's come people tell you to stay a kid as long as you can. Yet the moment you do anything childish or immature they tell you to grow up?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
If one synchronized swimmer drown, do the rest drown too?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does that mean the fifth enjoys it?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out their nose?
Why is it when your driving and looking for an adress, you turn down the volume on the radio?
If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them?
Did Yankee Doodle name the feather, hat, town, or his pony Macaroni?
Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them?
You know the saying "throw ya hands in the air like ya don't care"? why bother doing that if you dont care?

My Favorites.

What the bast time you've ever had licking stamps?
Whose cruel Idea was it for the word "Lisp"to have a "S" in it?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
If it is true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag.
There are more chickens than people in the world.